After G4S, the 5 Worst Corporate Music Videos EverPosted on July 7, 2012
As I’ve written before, the lifetime of any scandal – no matter how serious – is largely dependent on the absurd props that have cameos in the story. Rebekah’s Horse is a case in point.
And lo, almost immediately after the G4S Olympic scandal was revealed, the G4S corporate song was discovered. It’s a cross between a low-rent Bon Jovi cover and the kind of lyrics you might hear in the background in a gig scene from American History X, offering up such gems as:
Because the enemy prowls, wanting to attack
But we’re on the wall, we’ve got your back
24/7 every night and day
A warrior stands ready so don’t be afraid
It’s truly special, so in celebration of the long history of awful corporate songs, I’ve put together a Top Ten Worst Corporate Music Videos Ever.
5) Ernst and Young: “Oh Happy Day” – a particularly happy day for the bearded man at 12 seconds in, and for the lyricist, whose workload was evidently limited.
4) Starbuck’s: “We Built this Starbucks…On Heart and Soul” – and on the absurd insistence of replacing “small”, “medium” and “large” with our own terms. Full-fat venti awfulness to go.
3) KPMG: “A firm you can’t touch” – yes, auditors doing MC Hammer, with attempted rapping. About KPMG.
2) Bank of America: “One” – what U2 would be like if they were middle managers in an American bank.
1) The Gazprom Song – undoubtedly best purely on the beautiful scenes of hydrocarbon extraction, and the winning lyrics:
Let’s drink to all the Russian gas
That it never comes to an end,
Though it’s so hard to obtain
Feel free to sing along:
Tags: American History X, Bank of America, Bon Jovi, Corporate Videos, Ernst and Young, G4S, Gazprom, Jefferson Airplane, KPMG, MC Hammer, Oh Happy Day, Olympics, opinion, Rebekah Brooks, Rebekah's Horse, Scandal, Starbuck's, Twitter, Videos, We Built This City