Time for a Buffoons Register
Posted on October 10, 2010Every time an example of absurd and excessive regulation comes forward from the “something must be done” lobby, it increases my own support for one particular regulatory device: a Buffoons Register.
The idea is self-explanatory – it would be a central database where buffoons who advocate ridiculous government meddling would be made to sign their names.
Happily, it seems that David Crausby MP agrees with me and has actually created just such a register, in the form of this Early Day Motion:
“That this House condemns the shooting of the stag known as the Exmoor Emperor; believes that this beautiful animal, standing nearly nine feet tall should have been spared to live out his life as a magnificent example of the Giant Red Stag, the biggest wild land animal in the UK; and calls on the Government to protect special individual animals from this kind of senseless destruction.”
Yes, really – Crausby and four other backbenchers have put their names to this – going beyond the usual EDM bandwagon-jumping whenever an emotive story is in the news to actually call for Government legislation to protect “special individual animals”.
The drafting process should, of course, begin straight away. There’s no time to lose and there are so many difficult legislative questions to negotiate.
How do they intend to construct their Talented Animals List? What will be the definition of a “special” animal? Does a talking parrot count, or would it have to be multilingual to merit a police bodyguard? Would a particularly industrious ants’ nest qualify, or are collective and communal hive beasts not eligible? Perhaps, seeing as the proposal is inspired by a deer that happened by accident of nature to grow to be massive, talent doesn’t come into it and only freakishly large animals will be moved into safe houses lest someone come gunning for them?
I can see this occupying the House for some time to come – it’s not like the nation has any bigger issues to deal with.
Crausby and his cross-party allies have done us all a great favour – not by raising this ridiculous idea, but by outing themselves in one, easy to access database. Long live the Buffoons Register.
Tags: Buffoons Register, David Crausby, EDMs, Emperor of Exmoor, Hyperregulation, MPs, opinion, Parliament, Politics, Regulation, Stag
Categories: Opinion, Politics, Westminster
Obviously Lola the Bin Cat has to be at the top of the list >^..^<
28.10.2010 08:30
More insanely over-sentimental clap-trap from “animal rights” lobby.
28.10.2010 13:50
It would look lovely on my wall, that trophy.
28.10.2010 14:28
Hell. Now you are starting to scare me! I can just imagine that poor stag’s massive… Oh, wait! Sorry! My bad! When I heard this being talked about and someone mentioned a huge stag, I thought they meant something else, and not his magnificent rack! ;oD
28.10.2010 23:40
Yet more evidence of just how useless the EDM now is as a legislative tool. The example below is a personal favourite, I’m fairly sure anyone who signed up to it should be shot. Come the revolution they may not be top of the list, but they’d definitely be on the first day.
EDM 1255, 21.05.2004
That this House is appalled, but barely surprised, at the revelations in M15 files regarding the bizarre and inhumane proposals to use pigeons as flying bombs; recognises the important and live-saving role of carrier pigeons in two world wars and wonders at the lack of gratitude towards these gentle creatures; and believes that humans represent the most obscene, perverted, cruel, uncivilised and lethal species ever to inhabit the planet and looks forward to the day when the inevitable asteroid slams into the earth and wipes them out thus giving nature the opportunity to start again.
28.10.2010 23:19
The EDM was by Tony Banks, the notoriously stupid left wing MP. The EDM was also signed by two other left wingers wth more polticial idealogy than sense – Jeremy Corbyn and John McDonnell,
My own view about David Crausby is that he should the first on the list as an animal in need of “special” attention.
29.10.2010 13:23
Interesting that this is another animal rights… thing. I hesitate to use the word ‘issue’ as it isn’t one, really.
03.11.2010 17:05
By the time we have all the animal rights and the immigrants rights and the Muslim rights and the Gay Bacon Lettuce and Tomato rights and the dyslexic black irish dwarf single parents rights people and all the rest on the register we might find they’re actually the majority. Be careful what you wish for
29.10.2010 19:11